All or nothing.
I was sitting in a tram listening to Brene Brown’s “The Power of Vulnerability” workshop on Audible (brilliant, by the way, I could recommend it in a heart beat!), when I had a bit of an epiphany about a trap in thinking that I’ve totally fallen into, and that you might’ve fallen into too.
All or nothing.
Life’s not black and white and we all know it on the conscious level, yet sometimes we ACT as if black and white was the norm.
My realisation was based on thoughts around money. Things like “one day I will do this and that”, or “I can’t wait to be able to do this on the regular”. But then I stopped myself and thought – wait a minute. Things can be changed gradually and I don’t have to wait until I’ll be able to get a massage every week, or until I renovate my office and make it perfect before I can start recording weekly videos. (And BTW, if you want to learn more about money, I highly recommend following my mentor Denise Duffield-Thomas and reading her book. You can get free chapters of this book here: http://bit.ly/1TrblqH.)
But back to the point: what I realised is that I can start small (when I saw it it was like duh! of course!). With one massage every couple of months. Or with videos without the perfect background that I already have imagined in my head, but I would need to paint first and get an electrician to install my new lamp. I can start now and with smaller steps improve and gradually grow into what I really want.
This “all or nothing” trap can show up in your life in many ways. You might’ve fallen into it if you:
– either go to the gym regularly or don’t go at all for longer periods of time,
– either are eating healthy (or are on a diet of some sort – although I’d warn against dieting) or are eating junk food and sweets,
– on a bad day you’re thinking “oh God, I have no money”, yet on another you’re visualising yourself being super wealthy,
– you either feel like you can change the world, or are wondering why does nothing make sense anymore in your life, etc. etc.
And let’s set something straight, I am not talking about anyone being bipolar here. But healthy people like you and me tend to think in a 0 or 1 pattern from time to time too. The question to ask is: where in my life do I think ‘all or nothing’?
This could be relating to so many things, including happiness and even interior design. Because have you ever postponed improving a room, or your entire house “because you don’t have money for a complete renovation”? But what about making small changes that build up over time and make you feel so much better whenever you’re at home?
So I want you to think about this for a moment and tell me in the comments below – where in your life did you fall into the “all or nothing” trap? And what small step can you take now, with your current time and resources to get you just a tiny step closer to your dream?
See you in the comments below,
P.S. If you’d like more tools to help you be happier in your life and reach your goals, check out my FREE video series on The Crucial Shifts You Need To Make (And How) To Stop Playing Small And Start Living The Happy, SATISFIED Life You Want. I can’t wait to see you there! K.